In Transitions and again in Perspectives I have written about patience. The basic idea that I have presented is that trying to be patient for an impatient person only creates more impatience. So the question remains, how do I find patience?
I started writing my next book, Patience, last year but have taken a few months off in order to move from Colorado to Florida and to evaluate where I am in terms of the ability to write about patience. Obviously it is important to fully understand a subject before attempting to present anything about it in a conversation let alone in a book. I also think it is important to consider the environment that I am in. What I mean by this is that it is easy to practice patience when surrounded in a quiet pristine environment, however I must be able to be equally patient when caught in a complex social environment of missed expectations.
As I have stated before, I cannot find patience by trying to be patient, instead I must work on my personal traits that create barriers to my ability to be patient. These traits consist of my tendency toward frustration, my prideful nature and my runaway ego.
An example of barriers are ego, pride and frustration. For example, this morning I was making gluten free waffles for breakfast. After making a couple of very nice waffles I decided they were a bit heavy and tried to thin them down a little. I overdid this and the next waffle stuck to the waffle iron and then fell apart as I tried to clean it off. Naturally I was a bit frustrated with the results and then I started getting all kinds of helpful instructions on how to improve the quality of the batter and on how to keep the waffles from sticking to the waffle iron. Next, additional hands intervened to help clean the waffle iron. At this point, given I was frustrated and overwhelmed with help.
A combination of negative energies fed my emotions and I snapped out at my helpers, saying, “I have done just fine until now making these waffles I really don’t need help right now.” Yes, you are correct, I really did not need to respond in this manner and, true again, I
obviously reset on my day count as once again I failed to see the good in the help that was offered.
I cleaned to waffle iron, fixed the batter and then continued preparing the waffles until, of a sudden, the waffle iron came apart at the hinges and then, being electrical, the wires shorted out and I tripped a circuit breaker. That was ok, I was alone when all of this happened, in a nice pristine environment. The family was out on the deck eating waffles as I was finishing up and I was able to simply respond by unplugging the failed appliance; resetting the circuit breaker, and then finishing up the remainder of the batter by cooking a few 3 inch pancakes. The small pancakes were a hit with my granddaughter who immediately scooped a couple into her plate.
It has been a long year, so much has occurred. First was the planning for retirement, the final days of work and suddenly the day came but was preceded by Mimi being injured in a near head-on collision. We have spent many months seeing doctors and physical therapist. At the same time we put the house on the market and began our search for a new home in Florida. The house sold, the new home was bought and then we began the arborous task of moving. Yes, it has been a long year and the opportunities to discover the barriers to being patient have been numerous. I shall look back on those days as I once again begin working on my third book, Patience.
Do you want to find patience? I think the best way to discover patience is to not look for it. Honestly, patience is always there; it is just hidden by obstacles created by uncontrolled emotions fueled by negative energy. Those obstacles are removed by love. When I stop trying so hard and let myself go I can enjoy all that is around me. When I am enjoying everything I do not have time to let negative emotions fill my head. Instead my whole being is filled with joy and love.
Everything is okay, all is good, each day a glorious new beginning. Being patient in a pristine environment is easy but we do not normally live in such a place. Our lives are more likely to be surrounded by un-necessary drama and unconstrained emotions. In such situations we need the capability to practice patience and understanding. In these past few months I have failed many times to do so. For that failure I apologize to all of those that may have been impacted by my failures. I understand I am on a complex journey, but then that too is just life. I reflect back once again to the drawing made by he who said I could call him 113. After telling him what we say in the drawing he told us that he had drawn a picture of life. “I know what I drew but I like what you say you see in the picture as well. This picture is much like life, it is what you make of it.”
Thank you for sharing your time with me. God loves you, the Angels love you.