Though I walk along this path, patience still eludes me. I know this simple truth. I am reminded of this truth many times during the day as I go about the act of living. I struggle to be patient in conversations with my family, as I talk to contractors and service people helping me at my home, or when on the phone with other service providers. I struggle with my patience as I criticize myself for my own faults and misgivings. I am a very impatient person with a desire to learn patience.
I wonder about patience. I have met many people whom I consider to be patient and I ask myself how they became that way. Are people born patient or do they learn patience? Perhaps people are born patient and then some, like me, learn impatience. I know that we learn many things differently and that difference can be the result of the family and social environments wherein we are raised. If I grow up in a high stressed environment then that environment can have a significant impact on my emotional development.
Impatience can lead to frustration; frustration to anger; anger to hate. Hatred and has caused significant irrational behavior of the people of the world. Was this all driven by the social environment from wherein they were raised?
I don’t think that I can place all of my impatience on my environmental past. Sure, I can acknowledge that my past has shaped me from both a positive and negative perspective. However, once I developed cognitive thought, from that point onward I had the responsibility to make my decisions based on what I knew. If I did not know then I had the responsibility to learn; a responsibility to expand my cognitive abilities.
Things can occur that are not always consistent to how I would prefer. When this happens I generally try to correct the such things to my preference and if I fail I begin to fell frustrated. When I allow it the frustration can often become overwhelming to the point that I become angry and lash out verbally against another. In the distant past I was did not limit myself to verbal abuse. Time has evolved and I have evolved along side of it however, I have yet to arrive at the point that I can always sidestep frustration.
In my next book, Patience, I will address the obstacles that I have encountered as I work to modify my behavior from being impatient to being patient. The path to patience is a journey not a destination, a journey that is worth taking. I am willing to take that journey. I am willing to overcome the obstacles that I place in front of myself so that I may learn.
“Understand, with understanding comes wisdom.”
God loves you, love always