Tag Archives: perspectives

Discovering Me

Sometimes I look around myself and I become resentful. In those times I let myself become a victim; I begin to blame others for doing this or that, things that prevent me from doing what I imagine I should do.  Then I sit back for a moment and see that my greatest culprit is me.

Like Ash Williams in the movie Army of Darkness I fight a battle with Army_of_Darkness_postermyself. One side suggest one thing and the other side fights against it. Which one will win?  Just as  the Cherokee Parable below, the side that will win is the side that I feed.



Two Wolves – A Cherokee Parable

An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life…
“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.
“One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.
“The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
“This same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
“Which wolf will win?”
The old chief simply replied,
“The one you feed.” 

– taken from http://www.sapphyr.net/natam/two-wolves.htm

It is very easy to get caught up in self pity and resentment. In fact, you get a lot of encouragement to do so. There is not much difference in the way any of us behave whether we act as an individual, group, government or nation it all becomes the same when we analyze it.

We live in the environment that we have created. I cannot blame another, I am who I am by my own acts. I cannot change what I have done no more so than change who I am. What I can change is what I do and how I do it. I can change the way I feel about something or someone. More significantly is that I can change how I feel about myself.

If I should spend time on discovering something then perhaps I should spend time discovering me. It is not unusual for me to let my mind drift back to my early years. Sometimes my reactions about those years are cloy. Other times I am disparaging about myself. There are things that I did as a child I do not understand, some good, some not so good. I struggle to discover from where these thoughts or actions originated. Was it from something that I saw as a child or something that I carried forward from a past life?

I do not know the answers to these questions.  I am fairly convinced that whatever the source it is something that defined who I am today. This definition of who I am today is also part good and part bad. I have done things of which I regret. I have done things of which I am proud. Neither of these paths define who I am, they are just a part of my past. I must always see the past for what it was and take from it lessons on how I should be tomorrow. 

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I cannot change the memories of the past. I know this. I also know that what I do today will become the memories of tomorrow. When tomorrow comes will I feel good about the memories that I created? 

The greatest memory will be the love that I shared. God loves us. Love always.




Love Always

I was just reminiscing about the past week. It was an interesting week filled with both sorrow and joy. As I watched the week unfold I often found myself tearing up. At times I was overjoyed and other times I was remorseful. Last week was a time to say farewell to one and hello to many others.

During this time there were some who struggled with their memories of the past. There were some who would rather bury that past and only talk about the future. I can understand that position, however, for the one who is wounded with painful memories, hiding the past only produces more pain. When we are in situations like this we must be willing to listen and let the wounds be uncovered. If we can listen without defenses; when we listen with understanding, we can remove barriers to our relationships. Take the time to understand and embrace the pain. Let love uncover and heal the wounds.

I cannot ever express enough the response you can get with love. Standing in front of family that I had not seen in decades the uncertainty barriers where all over the place. I was not there to hide behind barriers. Rather, my wife and I were there to support family and to mourn the loss of a brother that was close to her heart but separated by events. I greeted each of her family with kind words and hugs, lots of hugs. Each person receiving a hug paid the love forward and embraced their sister and aunt with more tender love.

There are a thousand reasons why we stay apart but there is only one reason that brings us together. That reason is love. Be willing to step forward and show your love. Your first move can make all the difference.

Never forget the memories you have of family and friends. Never forget that the things you do today create the memories for tomorrow. There is no greater memory than the love we share with each other.

God loves you.

Love always,



Do you have any habits? It’s a funny sounding word, I must admit. More funny may be some of the habits that we share. For example, young children may pick up the habit of picking their nose. Most of us have probably done this more than once, after all, it is important to have an unobstructed airway in order to breathe. (smile)Gods_Love

A behavior becomes a habit my regular repetition until the point that it becomes automatic or habitual. Years ago when I smoked cigarettes, whenever I stopped to talk with someone my right hand would automatically reach toward my shirt pocket to get a cigarette. Even after I quit smoking, for a long time afterward, I would still reach for a cigarette each time I stopped to talk with someone.

Some habits that we develop are good while others are not so good. For example, we can develop habits of simply preparing to go to work. Each morning when we get up we must proceed through our normal morning routines. IMAG0381These routines can also be defined as habits if they are performed in a nearly automatic fashion. There have been times where I have completed my morning rituals of preparing to leave for work and suddenly, while driving down the road all of a sudden realizing that I could hardly recall anything that had happened since I woke that morning.

A habit can be formed by any repetitive behavior. Consider these types of behaviors: Yelling at your children or spouse;angry being angry at your boss or a coworker; gossiping; arguing; speaking too loud; criticizing others; slovenly acts; cursing; being rude. If we repeat these behaviors frequently there will come a time when the behavior is so automatic that we will not even know we are doing it.

We can become prisoners to our habits. Someone may ask us why we do something and we might not even know why or we may say that we have always done it this way. Governments develop habits the same was as individuals. If we look close enough we can see that bad habits, such as over spending, are equally destructive to both the individual and governments.

I do not want to be angry. I do not want to yell, criticize, argue or fight. I would like to throw away habits of self-indulgence. I do not want to be afraid anymore.

I want to be aware of all things that I do. I wish to always do the right things for the right reasons. I believe that we can change our habits just like I was able to change my habit of smoking cigarettes. In the case of smoking, one day I decided that I would not smoke cigarettes anymore and on that day I simply broke the habit. It was a choice that I made in order to live a longer life. If I am to live a longer life then that life must be worth living and therefore I must toss aside the bad habits that I have developed and either replace them with good habits or just leave that space open for the opportunity to do something more spontaneous.

Practice love and you can love, practice caring and you will care. Practice sharing and you will share, practice giving and you will relish in your generosity.

Investigate your habits.


To see the good in all things with a different perspective

What are you doing habitually of which you are not aware?  Are you kind and generous or mean and resentful? Perhaps you think yourself one way but act contrary to your thoughts due to habits.

Whatever you do, know that it is your choice as to how you behave. Regardless of your choices God will never love you more or less due to those choices. God infinite love for you is unconditional.

Love always,






Put Whom First?

I was driving down the street and passed a church with a sign outside that said, “Put God first and you will always be happy.” I thought about this statement and honestly I do not think that it is correct.

God is very important in our lives, however, if God was first and foremost then we would need to ignore family and friends. In a world where God is first we may begin to dishonor people who do not think like we do. If God is first then we may start to do things in God’s name that was never intended by God, perhaps even start wars and destroy people and nations for what we think is right, in God’s behalf.

If we were created to put God first then why would we have come here to live? Something doesn’t make sense to me. We come to live here as the people of the world with different thoughts and different beliefs. If we put our belief in God gazastripabove others, then how do we ever live in peace and harmony? If we cannot live in peace and harmony how can we ever by happy? Looking at the image left, I think about what happens when people put God first.

So, whom do we put first? I was given a chance to ask two questions of an Angel. I did not know the best question to ask and when I discussed the importance of the questions with him he suggested a good question to ask is, “How do I love more?” So, I asked the question, “How do I love more?” He replied, “Learn to love yourself.” If this is the answer to a good question then perhaps I should put myself first, if I am to be happy.

If I put myself first then it implies that I ignore others for my own benefit. I don’t think I can do it this way because if I ignore my family then they are not happy and as a result I am not happy. Because I enjoy family I put them first and that makes me happy and because I enjoy being happy am I in effect putting myself first by putting them first?

I enjoy being liked by others so I make them important in my life. I used important rather than first because if others are not family and family is first then they hold a place between me and family. Is that true? HappyPeopleWorkingTogetherThere were many times when I placed work above family. Still, work provided an income which was important for my family to live and therefore by putting work first above family I was able to provide for my family which made them happy resulting in me being happy and because I did lots of good work my employer and co-workers were happy.

Given that all of the above is true, it would suggest that if we put others above ourselves and work together helping each other live that in the end we have put ourselves first because what we have done is made our self happy.

Whom do we put first? Think about it awhile and perhaps you will see that we need to put our selves and each other first in order to be happy.

Regardless of what you decide, God Loves You.

Love always,





I was thinking on a few things and I recall my brother telling me I was obsessive. I hardly thought it was true at the time and haven’t given it much thought since until this morning.  I asked myself if I have a obsessive personality.

Is it right or wrong to be obsessive? Once again I pulled up an online dictionary to find that to obsess is to let an idea or thought continually preoccupy or intrude on your mind.  Ok, I have a lot of thoughts and ideas that fill and intrude on my mind, but they come and go and though the thought may intrude on my find with some level of frequency I would hesitate to call it continually.

What are things I think about frequently? Well, I think about my wife, things I could do to upgrade our home, how to save money, how much money we have to spend, food, my weight, friends, writing, taxes, body pain, the weather, children, grandchildren, people I have known in the past, mistakes I have made and dreams of things I could do in the future. I think about things that I do that I should not do and things that I say that I should not say. I think about what to do and what to say. I often think about how to live, I rarely think about how to die. I often think about who I am.

I have all of these things that go through my mind, so which is more prevalent than the others, what thoughts could be called obsessive? For example, in terms of money I track money earned, to be earned, spent and to be spent. I have multiple worksheets to track this and use both online applications and other computer tools to track where we have been and where we will be in the future. I could call this obsessive but I would rather call in prudent planning, but even planning can become obsessive.

I must concede that I am surely obsessive about many things and there are times that I let some things intrude into my mind much more frequently than they should and so it is for so many that let hate intrude into their minds.

I often think about how to live. Very frequently, I wonder why all the hate is necessary. Though a small percentage of the whole, there are so many that promote and/or practice hatred and violence. Life hangs in a precarious balance.

I think about the pain of innocent children as they witness the carnage of hatred that surrounds their lives. I ask the question, “why is it necessary?” I think I understand how it is possible to hate like that, but when you think about it you may discover what I know to be true. The truth, for thousands of years people have fought and killed each other, each act of violence and hatred generating 10 fold new hatred and violence. In the history of the earth we have never ever seen a case where hatred and violence has led to peace and harmony. It has never happened, so why would anyone imagine that an obsession for hate and violence can or could create a better world for their children?

I am obsessive, are you? Regardless of what you say or do, God Loves you.

Love always





There is Good in all Things

He asked me if I would be interested in accepting a new challenge. Without hesitation I said I was definitely interested. So began a journey that lasted over 300 days to see the good in all things for 30 consecutive days.

If we look at recent events around the nation we can make a clear argument that no good can be found in the deadly tragedy at a night club in Orlando Florida. The horror of the ordeal, coupled with the immeasurable fear, suffering, sorrow, and hate of the victims, families, and nation suggest that this event is an exception. However, this is not the case.

From the tragedy we find strangers helping strangers survive the ordeal. In the aftermath we find a new solidarity among the people of the nation who look upon all the victims as just another human suffering for no other reason than the hatred of one person or group of persons. All stand in condemnation of the act. It is that bond of love and friendship for fellow citizens of the world that all unite as one; sharing the grief, setting aside moral or cultural differences even for a little while.

In the aftermath of the tragic event politicians stand up and call for immigration and/or gun control. What is the good in this when in both cases the rights of the people are once again trampled upon? Perhaps we can recognize one politician or another who suddenly see that they serve all people, not just a few. Perhaps we see someone whose eyes are finally opened to the difficulties we have in protecting all the people of the world and having opened their eyes they begin to look for ways to promote peace and understanding in order for everyone to enjoy a happy life.

It was on this day; a day after a tragic event,


To see the good in all things with a different perspective

that I read a message from His Holiness The Dali Lama, where His Holiness spoke of new approaches to teaching the young about moral ethics outside the realm of religion. By taking this approach there will be a better way to promote understanding of people across nations. I remember the words spoken to me just a few years ago, “with understanding comes wisdom.”

There is good in all things. We cannot always see the good but with a small shift in our perspectives it may reveal itself. Search for the good, find the love. Love is the most powerful force in the Universe.

God loves you, love always,


First Up, then Down

I feel so great today, God has surely blessed me. Everything is going well, I rejoice is all that is happening. I pray every day and I am unhesitant to acknowledge that God is pleased that I am following the plan he has for me.  Wait…

Something happened. Things are changing; the bills has piled up then I lost my job. I struggle to support my family and then I get sick. What is this, I ask God. What did I do wrong? Has the plan changed, am I being called to do something else? “God, what is your new plan for me?” I am confused.

First up, then down, what is this roller coaster ride that we call life? Is it God’s plan to build us up to see how we handle the high and then “bam,” pull the rug out from under us to see what we do when we are at our lowest?

It seems strange that God would treat us this way, yet when we read the Bible we find that this is what happened to Job. Job was a good man; a hard-working man who was devoted to God but then, God and Satan wrecked havoc on Job’s life to satisfy a bet. Does this happen to everyone, are we just cards on the table for God and Satan to wager on?

Ok, you caught me, but it is just a story to show the difficulty I have with the book of Job and what could be called the popular belief of Christians that God favors some over others. There is the implied that we can ask God to promote us over others; that God will strike down those that we do not like or that we war against.

I have heard people say they are following God’s plan for them or that they will wait for God to show them the way. Ok, perhaps I will try to help out here and perhaps save you some time.

First, I must say that whatever you choose to do with your life is alright with God. God never tells a person what to do. God never gives direction. If God were to speak to you then you would hear one thing only; “I Love You.”  And to hear those words spoken could really change your life, no other words are needed.

Does God have a plan for you? I would say that God’s plan for you is the same as God’s plan for the other 6 billion people of the world. The plan is that we exist. Wow, that is so simple, all we need to do to satisfy God’s plan for us is exist. Do we need to do anything special during that existence? Nope, nothing is required of us by God. Isn’t that awesome?

So, where does all the direction come from, the thought that I should do this or that I should do that? I could say, “God told me to do this …” but I would not be telling you the truth. So who told me to do this or to do that? The answer, I told me to do this or to do that.

Yes, it is true, 99.9% of the direction we get comes from our self. If we are awaiting God’s direction to do this or that, then we have a very long wait. In some cases I suppose this could be a good thing because by waiting we may prevent ourselves from doing something foolish, but the opposite is also true that we may miss an opportunity that we should have taken.

So, what about those ups and downs? Why does that happen? Why is it that one day everything is going great and the next day, “bang” it is all gone? Well, it may be that arrogance has stepped in and blocked us from listening to others thus causing a rift that we are too prideful to repair. We  become the beneficiaries/victims of our own changing personality.

Swami RamaSamadhi taught that we should learn to control our mind. By taking control of our mind we can view the ups and downs the same, it is just something that happens. I would suggest that if we are able to better control our minds and see things that happen with equal measure then we would be less likely to create animosity among our peers. With control of the mind we can eliminate our fear and if we are not afraid then we can begin to appreciate who we are, no matter what we are doing.

Find out more on understanding where you fit into the universe by reading my books,

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Transitions, A Spiritual Evolution and


Perspectives, Thirty Days to Life.

Always remember God loves you no matter what you do.

Love always