Discovering Me

Sometimes I look around myself and I become resentful. In those times I let myself become a victim; I begin to blame others for doing this or that, things that prevent me from doing what I imagine I should do.  Then I sit back for a moment and see that my greatest culprit is me.

Like Ash Williams in the movie Army of Darkness I fight a battle with myself. One side suggest one thing and the other side fights against it. Which one will win?  Just as  the Cherokee Parable below, the side that will win is the side that I feed.

 

 

Two Wolves – A Cherokee Parable

An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life…
“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.
“One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.
“The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
“This same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
“Which wolf will win?”
The old chief simply replied,
“The one you feed.” 

–– taken from http://www.sapphyr.net/natam/two-wolves.htm

It is very easy to get caught up in self pity and resentment. In fact, you get a lot of encouragement to do so. There is not much difference in the way any of us behave whether we act as an individual, group, government or nation it all becomes the same when we analyze it.

We live in the environment that we have created. I cannot blame another, I am who I am by my own acts. I cannot change what I have done no more so than change who I am. What I can change is what I do and how I do it. I can change the way I feel about something or someone. More significantly is that I can change how I feel about myself.

If I should spend time on discovering something then perhaps I should spend time discovering me. It is not unusual for me to let my mind drift back to my early years. Sometimes my reactions about those years are cloy. Other times I am disparaging about myself. There are things that I did as a child I do not understand, some good, some not so good. I struggle to discover from where these thoughts or actions originated. Was it from something that I saw as a child or something that I carried forward from a past life?

I do not know the answers to these questions.  I am fairly convinced that whatever the source it is something that defined who I am today. This definition of who I am today is also part good and part bad. I have done things of which I regret. I have done things of which I am proud. Neither of these paths define who I am, they are just a part of my past. I must always see the past for what it was and take from it lessons on how I should be tomorrow. 

“Transitions”

I cannot change the memories of the past. I know this. I also know that what I do today will become the memories of tomorrow. When tomorrow comes will I feel good about the memories that I created? 

The greatest memory will be the love that I shared. God loves us. Love always.

Nathaniel

 

 

Its Only Physical

Since as long as I can remember I have been uncomfortable with my physical body. Perhaps, it is because of that feeling that I have abused it.  The physical abuse I have put my body through has varied, the most significant of which is my obsession with food.  I think it is more about the taste of food than the desire for food itself.  Because of this obsession with taste I frequently eat much more than I need to survive. When it comes to eating, I simply live to eat. I don’t eat because I am hungry, I eat to satisfy my taste buds.

Early in life we are taught about our physical senses; touch, taste, sight, sound, and smell. My preference to these five has always been taste, then sight and touch. I don’t listen very well and I generally admit that I don’t have a good sense of smell. If I am honest with myself, I must also admit that my sense of taste is not that great either as I can rarely discern different flavors or spices from each other.

I can say that I am obsessed with the taste of food yet when I investigate it further I discover that I don’t know anything about the specific taste of food. With me it is more like I am presented something to eat and it taste good so I eat it for the taste. I don’t think I have always been this way. What I have come to realize is that I can fast for many hours with no problem whatsoever, however, the moment I taste something I continue to eat even after I am full. It is a physical thing. In my mind I do not want to eat but the physical body insist on another bite. I call this a physical obsession. Physical obsessions block our connection to our spiritual self (true self).

Try to understand the difference between the physical self and the spiritual self. The physical self is only temporary. Although temporary our physical existence is important. If the physical was not important then we could not be here. We life a physical life and we must provide for our physical needs. The question I ask myself is at what point due I stop serving the physical and instead serve the spiritual?

Now, consider the spiritual self. The spiritual self is always. You are who you are whether in physical or spiritual state. There is only one self, which I call the true self. Although we cannot recall what it is like to be outside the physical in the spiritual state, the spiritual state is still very important for us and should not be ignored as it is who you are. That said, you should not worry about who you are, rather consider the principles of what it means to live a good life (physical state).

Life is a miracle. The beauty of our existence is indescribable, from the moment we are created by God, to the moment of our first transition, it is a miraculous event. Understanding this miracle opens my mind to understand what it means to be in the physical state. No matter what I do or say while in the physical state, in the end, I will always return to the place of love (spiritual state). From love we are created and to love is where we return.

What we do between those two transitions are important to us. Although it is the spiritual self that defines who we truly are, the physical self takes priority and redefines who we are as the current physical self.  Understand, the change is only temporary. No matter what happens to the physical self, at the moment of transition you always return to the true self.

We live our lives for a purpose; a purpose that we create and we should continue to do so. Our earthly plans are far more complex and integrated than we could ever imagine. In fact, even the step to take the time to read this posting and then talk to another about it could be woven into someone’s plan. For others, the reading of this posting is only a “free option,” and option without purpose. Whatever the case, what we do is important to us and that is why we do it. What I suggest is that we do not ignore who we truly are while we live this life.  After all, it is only physical.

God loves you regardless of what you do.

Love always

 

 

 

 

Love Always

I was just reminiscing about the past week. It was an interesting week filled with both sorrow and joy. As I watched the week unfold I often found myself tearing up. At times I was overjoyed and other times I was remorseful. Last week was a time to say farewell to one and hello to many others.

During this time there were some who struggled with their memories of the past. There were some who would rather bury that past and only talk about the future. I can understand that position, however, for the one who is wounded with painful memories, hiding the past only produces more pain. When we are in situations like this we must be willing to listen and let the wounds be uncovered. If we can listen without defenses; when we listen with understanding, we can remove barriers to our relationships. Take the time to understand and embrace the pain. Let love uncover and heal the wounds.

I cannot ever express enough the response you can get with love. Standing in front of family that I had not seen in decades the uncertainty barriers where all over the place. I was not there to hide behind barriers. Rather, my wife and I were there to support family and to mourn the loss of a brother that was close to her heart but separated by events. I greeted each of her family with kind words and hugs, lots of hugs. Each person receiving a hug paid the love forward and embraced their sister and aunt with more tender love.

There are a thousand reasons why we stay apart but there is only one reason that brings us together. That reason is love. Be willing to step forward and show your love. Your first move can make all the difference.

Never forget the memories you have of family and friends. Never forget that the things you do today create the memories for tomorrow. There is no greater memory than the love we share with each other.

God loves you.

Love always,

Nathaniel

Spirituality

#spirituality #God #Universe #Love #self-help

For me spirituality is about God. God is love and love is God. When I think of God I think of all things as God gave life so that we could share in all things.

Our Spiritual Path and Symbol of the Archangel Zophiel

 

The simple concepts that I presented above are much more complex in how we interpret them. Our actions speak loudly in our understanding of what it means when we say we are spiritual. For example, I could climb up to a high mountain meadow, sit down, and silently pray to God. I could sit there praying for hours, days, or weeks and people could pass by me and say, “that is a very spiritual person.” Perhaps they would be right, perhaps not. If I separate myself from all things that God has given me then I may be lost in self absorption.  If I am lost is self absorption then it will be hard to claim that I am spiritual.

Spirituality is about love and compassion. Spirituality is about working with people and those that are both close and far from you. The closest person to you is yourself and you are your most challenging student. You must understand that if you cannot teach yourself then how can you ever teach another?

I thought to tell a story here about another but I stopped. I asked myself what right I had to make such a judgement. My best example to give is always about what I have did and the many challenges that I have faced, face now, and will face. There was a time many years ago that I sought out help from the US Army Mental Hygiene office and then from a local church clergy. Neither office could help me then because I was lost in self absorption and self pity. I went through some very dark times and through that darkness I finally saw a flicker of light. No, there was not an immediate “wang/bang” explosion and then some sort of “enlightenment.” Rather, I discovered there was someone else in the world besides myself.

God gave us a beautiful gift that allows us to reproduce. The reproductive design is very amazing if not miraculous and to top it off he attached many nerves to enhance the physical feeling during the process and then added a couple of extra attributes that would allow us to know the beauty of pure love. Have you ever thought of it that way? Have you ever thought that the design was intended to help us understand perhaps God’s heart as he created all things?

Look there, my granddaughter is upset because she cannot control all things. My daughter is upset because she cannot stop her daughter from being upset. Grandma is upset because her daughter and granddaughter are fighting and my daughter’s husband is upset because the anger will soon be turned toward him. Grandpa watches it all and wonders why this all happens this way as he recalls the words that tell him there is good in all things, you just need to find it. Grandpa struggles to find a solution and then pulls out is phone and starts up the camera. “Look everyone,” he says, “let me record this session for you.” Suddenly everyone calms down, the night has become peaceful once again and then we start the process of working on one problem at a time. Everything will always be ok if we let love lead the way but we must first find something that allows us to get our attention to where it should be.

We should first learn to love ourselves. You will know you have achieved this first step when you are free of anxiety that is created by worry of what another may say, do or has. Self love means that you do not cycle between happy and sad based on the whims and emotions of another. Rather, you are very comfortable with who you are.

The second step is learning to love God. To fully understand yourself you need to understand from where you come and why you exist. This discovery will not be some esoteric revelation but rather a simple understanding. With that understanding you will come to realize that there are others who have came from the same source. Now you are ready for step three.

On step three you look at the miracle of life. At this step you see your parents, siblings, spouse and children differently. When you look at them you realize the wondrous joy of sharing a common background or chosen connection for future creation. At this step you let your heart open to experience the universe around you. You are now ready for step four.

At step four you discover the universe. At this step you discovery your own connection to the universe and learn that all creation comes from the same source.  At this step you learn to love everyone equally and without judgement.

I have given you a very simple outline toward spiritual development. The spiritual path is not a short path that is accomplished in a day, week, month or year. The outline that I presented may not be achievable in a single lifetime. Today we must not worry too much about where we have been before. Today let us look at where we are now, then look to where you can be tomorrow. No matter how daunting it may seem all things are possible if you let love lead the way.

Spirituality if about God. God is love.

God loves you always, unconditionally and with infinity.

Love always

Nathaniel

 

 

 

A Place Called Home

#spirituality Home is always a special place. When things get rough then home is a place you can go to find refuge. Home is a place of safety and comfort. At home you may receive the hug that will make a bad day go away. If you are happy home can share that happiness with you when sad home can erase help ease the pain and bring joy back to your heart.

Always let joy and comfort fill your heart and the hearts of the ones you love as you prepare for bedtime. Let everyone relax… a moment to they may all sleep peacefully.
When you arise in the morning, let the morning be peaceful and happy. Share a hearty breakfast with love and happiness so that the coming day will be easier for everyone. Starting with a warm heart you can share that warmness all day long. Such warmth will be met with more warmness and love as the day progresses. It is very hard to be angry when you are surrounded by love.

Home is a place of safety, protection, love, and nourishment; nourishment of the body and soul. 

If you have had a difficult day, stop at the door, lift your head up and ask God to take all the bad energy away. Slowly breath in the positive energy of home and breath out the harsh day.

If you have had a good day, stop at the door, lift your head up and thank God for all the blessings of the day. Slowly breath in the positive energy of home and breath out any negative energy from the day.
God has given us the gift of life. Know that we can make every day a special day if we try.
Remember, always love and protect the ones you love. Let home be a place you always look forward to coming back to.

There are many places in the world where homes have been destroyed and distraught families have no place where they can return. Innocent families seek a place of refuge but their world and hopes are disrupted by political motives and actions of rebel and terrorist factions. Governments and people shut their doors to people in need which only results in more anxiety and despair. When people are filled with anxiety and despair they will look for any means to overcome those conditions even if it involves becoming a part of rebel or terrorist groups. The need to provide for family can overcome any thoughts to right or wrong. Given enough time the wrong will become right.

Think about it, if there were 9,999 innocent people on a sinking ship and in that group there were 5 terrorist, would you attempt to save all those people or would you let them all die on the sinking ship to protect yourself from the 5? The decision may be easy for some and difficult for others. The answer will always depend on your own view of life.

Governments and religions have made decisions like this for thousands of years. In order to promote the good of their own policies and beliefs these organizations have promoted the destruction and annulation of people, groups, and countries. In fact, entire civilizations have disappeared under the guise of  the greater good. My father used to tell a story of a man, from Texas during World War II, who bragged that he would be fined more for killing a deer out of season than he would for killing a black person. If was such a sad story but more sad was the way the super powers split up the world at the end of that war. Today we are experiencing the constant unrest of the world due to those decisions.

I do not have the answer.

All I have is the sadness I feel in my heart. I remind people to review the impacts of past decisions before making decisions that affect other people of the world. What may seem right this moment may have a prolonged and negative impact.

Let home be a place of refuge. Help people find their homes.

God loves you all,

Love always

 

 

 

End Of Another Year, Something New Comes

Another Wow! 2016 comes to an end. It has been quite a year. For me a lot has happened over the last two plus years and now I look forward to a new year and new memories. I think it will be fun.

Each day is always a new fresh beginning. For some this may not be their reality. Perhaps the end of one day just stretches into the next with no change. For some each day is a struggle to survive. If it is not one thing then it is another that threatens their very existence. While that happens, each day I talk about the great mornings. I talk about the beauty of the birds singing and the peaceful feeling of the wind blowing against my skin. I often seem to take life for granted and only worry about small insignificant things while others fight for survival.

I feel bad and good at the same time. I feel good that we all woke up on a new day and that new day presented us with an opportunity to do something to change the world. I thought of the passionate anger against others in the home and community that I was raised. I decided that I did not want to live my that way. I recall my peers in school doing mean things to people of different color or social status. It was very sad, I took no part in it. I had friends of all backgrounds, it did not matter except that they were people that enjoyed spending time with me and I enjoyed spending time with them.

I can recall returning home for a visit while on leave while in the US Army. I felt funny that people that I thought were my friends rejected me. I thought I knew the reason but it did not matter. I had changed and they had changed, we were now on separate paths. I discovered that was ok as I now look to the future each and every day. I admit that recently I have thought quite a bit about the past but a recent dream has enlightened me to the fact that it is the future path that I must apply my energy.

I bid farewell to the year 2016. 2016 will now be a part of my memories along with all the years that proceeded it. Those memories will include things that were both joyful and sad. That’s ok, it is a part of life.

Let’s all welcome the coming new year 2017. My 2017 find solutions that will help people live and work together in peace and harmony. May people set aside their anger and hate that they have inherited and propagated and put their attention on the future of their children and grandchildren. May they set aside religious and cultural difference and welcome their share diversity. May each learn to understand the other, if not for self, for the future.

Whatever the choice, remember always, God loves us all, equally and unconditionally. We are all God’s children, love always.

Merry Christmas

I usually enjoy the end of year holiday season. It is a time when so many people are able to think in a positive way sharing gifts and spending time with each other. If we can get past the materialistic components it is a wonderful time. It is really about the perspective that I have when I consider what Christmas means to me.

I do not buy gifts though Mimi will always get something for the grandchildren. That is a good thing, it is always joyful to see their eyes shine as they open a box and see something they really wanted.

These day I enjoy simple things. I recognize that as a child and in my early adult life I often dreamed of nice gifts but as I grew older I began to think that purchased gifts are less important.

I think about my mother talking about receiving a rag doll for Christmas. It was a torn and worn doll that she had for a long time. One day she could not find it and it reappeared on Christmas day. My grandma had taken the doll and repaired it. My mother talked about her disappointment about the gift that day. Yes, as a child I could understand that disappointment but now I can see how precious that gift was as it was a gift of love. Unfortunately my mother could never get past her disappointment for her entire life.

Over the years I have watched as the children and grandchildren open their gifts. Husbands and wives try to present something significant to the other and children gifts are often extravagant. One child may count the gifts, measuring one against another while another may offer one of their gifts to someone who received less. Could it be possible the love is measured by the quality of the gift under the tree? I cannot judge as when the children were little I would borrow money each year in order to put nice gifts under the tree on Christmas day.

Parallel to this the season is adorned with decorations and lights. There is always the scenes of the manger in the stable with the baby, mother, father, animals and wise men to replicate the birth of the divine baby. Christmas songs are sang while, for just a few days, people raise their spirits and pray to Jesus to bless their future.

It would be wrong and hypocritical for me to criticize people for what they do or don’t do on Christmas. Rather, I can just reinforce my current thoughts that the greatest gift anyone can give is love, it is a gift that keeps on giving. During Christmas we can take a moment to remember what Jesus taught us. The lesson is so simple but generally misunderstood. His lesson was also a gift, a lesson and gift of unconditional love. He taught us to break from traditional teaching and religious rules to instead focus on God. Jesus showed us that we could learn about God from a speaker on a hillside and not be constrained to attendance in temples and synagogues. He also taught us the magic of love by feeding the multitudes with just a few fish and loafs of bread.

I don’t think Jesus would have wanted people to celebrate his birth or his death as he was too humble and non assuming for that. I do think that he would have seen what the future would hold and he would have accepted even the misunderstanding of his teaching because it was more important to end the extreme religious practice of animal sacrifice that often meant the suffering of families that sold their children to pay for the pilgrimages to the temples to make those sacrifices.

I remember a time when the Angels came to help me give a briefing to an Air Force Colonel. The Colonel was known to be very difficult and often shouted at and insulted people giving him briefings. On that day, in that room, it was a very peaceful moment. He later told me that I was like the Billy Goat in the movie Sea Biscuit for him, meaning I helped him relax. This is what happens in the presence of Angels; it is also what happens in the presence of love.

For me, the Christmas holiday is the time to renew our love for each other. It is a time to set aside our grievances and come together as families, communities, nation and world. It is a time to reaffirm our love of ourselves, God, and others. Love creates more love.

Always remember, God loves you always, infinitely and unconditionally.

Love always